Pregnancy Emotions and Zen...

So, I keep reading up in my "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book and it seems every month so far has started with explaining the emotional ups and downs that pregnancy can bring. As far as I could tell this was no big deal, just normal emotions for me - no big blowouts with Ben about what dinner would be - no crying fits because I couldn't find socks - just not much to report...and THEN...I was watching a seemingly benign show on E! called Kendra...if you are not familiar, this is a ridiculous show about one of Hugh Hefner's former girlfriends who moved into her own house now with a boatload of money gained from the pure act of being Hef's girlfriend and doing The Girls Next Door on E! for a few seasons....anyway, long story short she is now engaged to a football player and much of the show led up to her wedding. I mostly enjoy this show because of her ridiculous antics and being generally retarded about everything - like not knowing how to grocery shop...However, low and behold the season finale arrives a week or so ago and all the sudden I am literally BAWLING MY EYES OUT about this girl's wedding! I was crying when she put on her dress, and crying when Hugh came in to check on her, and crying when she made her friends say "fart" so she wouldn't cry...seriously? What the heck is wrong with me? So, I was hoping for my sake (and Ben's) that this was a one-time occurance and I wouldn't have to worry about this kind of behavior again...and then came Whale Wars the show about people trying to stop whaling in the south pacific...and the Japanese shot a whale, and then another one, and then by whale number 3 I am crying like a baby and telling Ben we aren't eating living things anymore (that only lasted until dinner - my grandparents would never allow such a thing), but never-the-less I have lost my mind apparently. Just waiting for Grey's Anatomy to start...that show NEVER makes me cry...yeah right.
I will say the positive thing that has come is that though I may be sentimental about whales (and apparently former girlfriends of Hugh Hefner's), I seem to be generally more Zen in other areas of my life. I find myself driving without getting angry when people cut in front of me, and generally liking where Ben and I live (which is rough in the middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma). So, apparently I am a perfect contradiction - bawling over reality TV while calmly maneuvering the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Pregnancy is weird.

Symptoms and the crazy stuff people tell you!

So yes, about 10+ weeks along and "enjoying" the full spectrum of pregnancy symptoms. First, it is a cruel joke that everyone acts like the peeing thing doesn't start until your baby is big enough to rest on your bladder - not so much - my baby is the size of a prune apparently and I still pee about 18 times a night - I feel like an old man! And the "glowing"? I think not. I haven't had a complexion this bad...well...ever...I guess that means high school couldn't have been too bad, and THANK GOD I know how to apply makeup! I have also become a slave to the evening sickness that the Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy told me to call "progesterone poisoning" - it really sucks - especially when you have a husband like mine who can actually grill really well and it sounds great until about an hour before I am supposed to eat it - at which time I feel like I should crawl into a ball.
Also - I have a hard time believing that women who are beyond their desire to have anymore children are honestly trying to be helpful when they fill you in about all of their own horrible symptoms. It seems to be that the first thing out of someone's mouth when they realize you are pregnant is: "Soooo, has THIS happened to you yet?" And if they have not actually had a child of their own yet they settle for telling you THE WORST childbirth story they ever heard about a friend-of-a-friend (I choose to believe they are Urban Myths). I even was in for a bikini wax the other day when the woman decided to inform me about her FULL BEARD that she grew when pregnant. Seriously? I don't even know you! I think it is all a conspiracy against emotional fragile pregnant women - ridiculous!

The Beginning

Ok, so as of today we are one day short of 8 weeks pregnant and I have been meaning to write about the experience. Ben had been home from Iraq for about 3 months when we decided to go "all barriers down" for lack of a better phrase! I knew we were going to Oklahoma at the end of June, but figured even if we got pregnant right away it would be the early stages and I wouldn't be too stressed. As luck would have it the first month was a no-go and we were planning to move about a week before I was considered "testable" again. The day the movers came to pack up our house I was going through the bathroom supplies to pack and came across one lonely pregnancy test. I thought to myself "why would I pack this?" so I just decided what the heck and I took it. I had actually completely forgotten about it until after my shower and whatnot about 15 minutes later when I looked on the counter and the little digital readout said "pregnant". I just stared at it for a good minute and a half and tried to make sure that the "not" before the "pregnant" hadn't just faded away or something. This was the point when I started to say "Holy Sh*t" about 3 times. Ben was outside the bathroom door and the way he tells it is "I don't know why I would go IN the bathroom when she is saying that, but..." and so he walked in and I just handed him the test and he stared at it - and in true Ben form said "guess you shouldn't've had that margarita last night" - thanks, awesome. So yes, that is the whole story. From that moment on we were officially "expecting". Apparently when those commericals say "test 5 days before your missed period" they aren't joking!